Some places always feel like coming home. But for me, home has never been a box with rooms, a yard, and white picket fence.
I tried. I really did. Less than two years ago I spent my days behind a big desk, in a small office, with nothing on the white walls except for the law degree that I thought would be enough. I was restless, couldn't focus, and was definitely not at home.
I wrestle with WHY I'd ended up behind that desk. When I was really little I wanted to be a doctor. Then entomologist, photographer, journalist, veterinarian, conservation biologist - I could go on and on.
Point is, at no time do I remember wanting to be a lawyer. And all those paths I didn't take, they haunted me. So I walked away from the desk.
I'm still working out the how and the why. I figure it's important to keep asking the big questions, especially the ones without clear answers. I've decided to be an active participant in creating my story. Everyone tells a story about themselves. Always. All the time. That story makes us who we are. And I want my story to be a good one. A happy one.
I definitely don't have it all figured out. When I feel particularly lost I try to remember who I was before the world told me who I should be. I can feel little pieces of that person returning when I'm on top of a mountain, swimming in an alpine lake, or wandering down a dirt path. For me, that is home. That's where all the world's distractions and expectations quietly fade into the distant background and I'm able to finally see the forest past the trees. And it is where my story takes place.
"It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any." - Hugh Laurie